@Cat
      She/they   Discord available to mutuals Adult

Ay, nice to meet you. Figured I'd use this space to talk about other interests because I have no idea what else to fill it with and-- thanks for popping in.Some other interests I have include: Plants(I'm a
horticulturist), medical history, plant lore(occult or otherwise), hiking, doing art, TTRPGS, general history, survival horror, indie and indie horror games, retro games, retro anime, manga, music hobbyist and the like.*

    RULE ONE    First thing; misc. things:
- Reality =/= fiction. I am not my muse, my muse is not me.- For those who need to know; blog is 21+. Minors please DNI, I'm an adult well over the age of 21, drifting into my 30s. Do not follow if you're a minor, respect my wishes and don't make me comb through my mutuals/ followers in order to block you.- My work here is not a free-for-all. As such, don’t lift my writing, my HCS, my world/ steal my art (when shared) or my character(s) or my writing. You have an imagination too, use it– you are just as capable as I am.It's disrespectful and uncomfortable. While you won’t get a call out post, you will be confronted in privacy if needed, and blocked on all fronts if nothing changes. ==It is incredibly off-putting, and a total disservice to your own creativity and ability. ==- There will also none if rarely any politics posting. I have decided not to engage on my rp blog.
-This does not reflect my actual views if I do not reblog every political post that comes across my dash.
- I do this for my mental health, my RP blog is my space to create; talk with friends/mutuals and so on-- that should be more than acceptable. I have a personal for a reason and I need not justify beyond that.The muse is German, the mun is not. However, I can read/write/understand a basic amount of German, unfortunately I have gotten lax in my practice over the years and my ability to read it is by far my strongest skill with the language as of right now. I get something wrong, feel free to politely correct me.    RULE TWO     Following/Unfollowing- There will be graphic elements present. If you do not want to follow a blog that features heavy/dark/nsfw themes, please refrain from following me.
. This is your media experience. Curate it. I want you to feel safe and have fun- I rarely follow first these days for personal reasons. If you followed and I follow back, I read your rules and you can consider me interested.-I unfollow/soft block if you never engage with me in any meaningful way/not in anyway that shows me you're actually interested in even reading. Removal occurs after 6 months of radio silence with no change, no sign, nothing. I'm not a number to bloat your following and likewise, you aren't either. If you're not interested, then please soft block or hard block, if that's what is best for you. I'll do the same.-I'll unfollow if you're deep in call out culture or you try to pull me into your personal drama. You do you on your side of tumblr, I'm not for it.- You're free to like what you want, and I don't mind being reblogged from sometimes BUT, I would prefer you go to the source unless you can't find it/ it's been deactivated. If I discover that I’m being inspo/content-mined for memes and aesthetics exclusively, I will soft block.- Fight threads are a no-go unless heavily discussed and plotted/we're comfortable and this is reserved for my oldest and closest friends and mutuals with discussion/development. Too many times have I had to deal with particular individuals who violated countless boundaries, would godmod and meta game and that is exactly why I've chosen to set some hard boundaries around this specific thing. If we do discuss it and you do all of the above even after a warning, I will unfollow you. I am not interested in having muses compete in some power-scale crap or a 'duel to the death' unless there is reason, plot, and discussion with respect to the boundaries set.If we're doing prompt based things with discussion beyond a one-shot, or one-sided acts of violence based on reaction-based prompts then that will be an exception even if only one shot.Example: I reblog a 'stab my muse to see thier reaction/choke my muse/smack my muse'... that is an exception to the rule as those tend to be one shot or only a couple replies. I also tend not to elevate those into full fight threads beyond retaliation unless we discuss it or we express this is a one-shot reaction and that is it.The other exception being is if a violent dynamic is established, discussed and fleshed out then by all means that is also an exception. It was discussed, established, and developed and we talked boundaries then we're good. Keep in mind this goes two ways.    RULE THREE     Writing & reply time:
  - I prefer to plot of some kind but can do some wing-it style threads.

  - I tend to do multi-para but can adjust as needed. You never have to match my length!- At about 4 months of no reply I consider it dropped. assume the same from me-- I tend to forget where we were going and lose muse at that point. We can try something else. No harm done. We all get busy and maybe we'll want to do something else together! I won't hang this over your head but if there is am extensive history where threads do not go beyond 2 replies, I will stick to doing one shots and asks with you. This isn't a punishment, I'm still showing an interest in engaging you. I want to write with people... not just /for/ people you know? This is just one of many ways to better divide my energy which I struggle with often.- Don't know what to do with a thread/I didn't give you enough? Reach out, tell me, and we can plot more.- Something to consider: I'm a busy person. I do part-time school/part-time work and it can get really busy depending. I suffer with depression and struggle with the occasional low. During these periods, as a result my reply times can range form a couple weeks to a couple of months. If this bothers, you may want to reconsider following me. This is why I'm sporadic to low activity.

    RULE FOUR    Shipping + dynamics:
This is not a ship focused blog.
Helena is quite difficult when it comes to shipping in general, so I tend not to focus on it too much for a number of reasons.Ships are built upon discussion and chemistry for the long-haul. Anything instant simply does not work, it just doesn't interest me unless there is genuine progression and build up and development. I've been at this rp thing for awhile instant-ships do 0% for me, please do not be discouraged though. While Helena can be shockingly intimate despite her hang-ups, she just isn't interested in love (or sex) in any immediate way for many personal reasons to the muse. Just know once and if it ever happens, I do no refrain from the potential for toxicity and strain.For added clarification: One-sided pining, crushing, obsessions, flirting, confessions of feelings etc that's all fine.Pre-established dynamics, toxic, family dynamics, friends, partners-in-crime, skinny love, slowburn anything, love-hate, obsession be it mutual or one-sided, rivals, associates, enemies, past friends, former fellow students and the like I'm more than I'm happy to discus as well.I also don't mind exploring highly toxic and volatile dynamics so long as it makes sense and we discuss it. Love that stuff.    RULE FIVE    Triggers:
There will be dark content present:
-- I will cover a range of things. With will include: death, grief, sex, psychological distress/breakdown, sexuality, sexual trauma, body horror, eldritch horror, drugs/drugging, internalized traumas, misogyny, cannibalism, the occult, murder, religious/sacrilegious themes, murder, toxic family, abortion, birth, mutilation, body horror, horror hunger as literal and metaphor, illness, cult exploration, manipulation, unethical medical practices(it's bloodborne...), denial of autonomy, unhealthy obsessions, animal death, hunting, survival...More importantly to keep in mind-- there is love, a desire to help, and a will to survive here-- there always will be. This blog isn't only a bleak exploration into these things. What should be understood --loud and clear is that dark themes and subjects are as such, and horror... will always be horror. If this makes you uncomfortable, then please reconsider following me. I want you to be comfortable in your RPC experience, but part of that is understanding that not everything will be -for you- and that's fine! Find your thing.I will not censor my writing nor my muse, it's part of what choked me up and why I've stayed away for so long-- I will tag it like so:
TW. -insert trigger- and [TRIGGER || Heavy weight] tag and the general NSFW and horror/gore tags will also apply as needed.You can also block these tags if squimish: — Wolfsong || Blood; Gore; Body Horror.
— Flesh and bone || Medical.-Worried about something? Don't know? Just ask. Inbox is open.    Heeeeyyy     If you made it here, thank you for getting through all that, it is sincerely appreciated!Hello! You can call me Cat. Been here way too long and I love to write when I can, unfortunately due in part to time, energy, life and work + education... this blog is LOW-to-Sporadic activity.Despite the long rules list, I'm an overall collected person, and I don't bite. While I am slow by comparison these days, I'm always eager to get into it when I have time and energy, so don't be afraid to reach out when you can. Worst I can ever do is say 'no' to a dynamic or idea, and we can certainly try again. In the mean time I'm happy to have you here, and I'm looking forward to interacting as I can when I can.

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    NAME:     Helena Von Heidrik
    AGE:     34 upon arrival
    DATE OF BIRTH: Dec. 13th 18xx    
    HEIGHT:     6'2 (187.96 cm) Rather tall for this era.
    SEXUALITY     Demi romantic, demisexual-- no noticeable lean
    ETHNICITY     Germanic, European
    BIRTHPLACE     Berlin, Germany
    CURRENT RESIDENCE     An established clinic close to the outskirts of Yharnam
    OCCUPATION     Medical Doctor (MD), with prominence in medical chemistry/apothecary,
    FACE CLAIM    : -
    VOICE CLAIM     Mary Elizabeth Mcglynn: Low, shallow rasp, throated yet dulcet. When she speaks, she tends to speak from deep within her chest or base of her throat. An example would be: Sun as an example of her speaking voice.

Skin: Almost of an ashen hue (pale from working in the dark as much as she does)– a pallid accent.
Build: Tall and somewhat lanky in build– but relatively athletic in structure with plenty of lean muscle, long toned limbs and strong/wide-set shoulders. Her shape would be that of an hourglass with a defined and somewhat slender musculature, but her shoulders slightly off-set her hips (presenting a somewhat deceptive ‘bony’ look at first glance) providing an almost androgynous appearance unless she presents otherwise.
Distinguishing Marks: Light scaring along her knuckles, upper shoulders, small lip scar on the corner of her mouth, and a scar that curves around her right hip– it looks akin to a defense wound. Scarring along her throat and thick scarring shoulders.Little details:Heavy bags under her eyes, this is made apparent by the darkening of pigment and a slight emphasis of veins and a reddish hue on her lids from consistent lack of sleep and the effects of the blood.    LANGUAGES:    
A polyglot:
Fluent: German(Native), English
Conversational: Dutch, Russian, French
Limited reading and writing: Latin (expressly concerning medicine)


    —Enneagram Type:    
Type 5 - THE INVESTIGATOR | Iconoclast: They are alert, insightful, and curious. They are able to concentrate and focus on developing complex ideas and skills. Independent, innovative, and inventive, they can also become preoccupied with their thoughts and imaginary constructs. They become detached, yet high-strung and intense. They typically have problems with eccentricity, nihilism, and isolation.
At their Best: visionary pioneers, often ahead of their time and able to see the world in an entirely new way.


    Physical:★★★★★★★☆☆☆    
    Stamina:★★★★★★★★☆☆   
    Psyche:★★★★★★★☆☆☆   
    Tenacity: ★★★★★★★★★☆    
    Insight: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆   
    Dexterity: ★★★★★★★★★★   
    Intelligence: ★★★★★★★★☆☆    
    Charisma: ★★★★★★★☆☆☆   
    Empathy: ★★★★★★★☆☆☆   
    Sociability: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆    
    STAT: I'll think of something later lol    


(Keep in mind She's augmented by the blood and was trained as a hunter in part to her social service/contract and that came with unprecedented changes to her body among a few other things. Just take into account who and -what- she is and is likely very capable of.)Significant items: Rifle, hunting knife, journal, a simple engraved silver ring.Some general psychology:
Physical habits and open mannerisms: Cracking, rolling/tapping/flexing/drumming/stroking of fingers and knuckles. Grinding and clenching her teeth. Smiling often.Goal orientated: A disposition towards fixation and forms of obsession. Helena tends to fixate on goals no matter how far away any set goal may seem... this can also sometimes include people to a limited degree. If it is a means to an end, she will see to it. This has resulted in the development of mild workaholic tendencies, and a habit of overworking or 'always staying busy' even in her down time, filling time in be it with her work or on a hobby.Deceptively distant: Although she has excellent bedside manner can can often appear quite cordial or even intimate, Helena is an emotionally distant sort that is excellent at pretending. Even when she seems close it is safe to assume that she is holding most at an arms length. Her tells are very far and few between.Compartmentalizing and where she draws the line can be murky: Her tendency to endure and endure again what one never should is astonishing-- her ability to press back and compartmentalize hovers between someone who had once been trapped in survival mode, to near maladaptive. This can manifest as coming off undisturbed or even detached from uncomfortable situations to the above mentioned distance she's set. This has manifested in her ability to often make decisions that many may not be willing to.

Personality:She has never been an easy read off the cuff; with a bewitching nature from a distance, one might deem her as unpredictable. Serpentine, and sweet words, a voice that soothes and a welcoming hand that warms in contrast to the ambition that grows with each day as she toils ceaselessly against an unending hunt-- if there is anything that can encapsulate Helena it is 'determination'. A fragment of a hunger that defines some of her core principles. There is fact and method to how she composes herself in conjunction within any given situation.A strikingly intelligent and frigidly charming person, she is an inquisitive sort and can be analytical to a fault with more than her fair share of eccentricities and a small flair for the theatric. Harboring a ruthless sense of ambition with a tendency to act, she moves with a composed air, carrying herself with a sense of confidence and a seemingly no-nonsense way of performance when it comes to her labors; if it must be done, then it will be done. It is most expressly apparent with her patients, reflects in her hobbies, work-practices as well as her overall conduct and pursuits-- the results matter.Spurred on by her immeasurable wish to make sense of chaos she works against, obtaining things through unscrupulous means comes as second-nature as well. When there is no real answer to be had, she is driven to seek out her own, of course. As such, she's no stranger to muddying foundations, crossing the line as a means to an end when and where she needs it to be. This may come as contradiction but nothing is done without method and reason.If there's anything she is most certain of however, it's how much she doesn't know... and if every stone must be turned, then so be it-- it will be.There's hardly anything poetic in the 'struggle' as far as she's concerned and she takes little joy in the suffering of others. While she is well meaning at the heart of it all, she is a curious sort with a well-rehearsed way of behaving, acting, and presenting-- civility, if anything, is a must. Presentation is key after all, it is the first mask. In light of this, some may suspect that she is possibly disingenuous; as if she is always playing a role. To her, there's no real benefit in wearing her heart on her sleeve. She isn't at all lacking in compassion to the plight of the afflicted and the town in which she is stationed. In spite of it all, mercy is still first and foremost and sometimes in spite of herself.Civility is but the first mask, but to be willingly kind in spite of everything, and in a world that demands blood is a quality still inherent to her beneath it all. All and all, she really is every bit of the doctor she set out to be.


Hobbies:
Vulture culture: skeleton articulation: The meticulous process of cleaning and articulating skeletal specimens for display. This extends into bone collection as well, having always had a deep appreciation for the natural world and an adoration for anatomy, she's done since the years of her youth. While she may not have time as she once did, it is still something she returns to. She also has a fondness for wet specimens.Flower pressing/preservation and drying: A reflection of her garden tending and 'green thumb'. It is classic artistic practice of pressing freshly cut flowers between books, or weighted beneath parchment and paper to dry and adequately preserve them. What began as a small joy of childhood has since remained with her. It isn't a peculiar find between the pages of various designated books among her collection, nor to find bundles strummed up to be seasoned accordingly. Some samples come from her own medicinal garden.*Curiosities cabinet; Kunstkammer: She is abit of a collector. From insect specimens, strange trinkets, a place to display her smaller skeletal articulations or wet specimens, to any number of items reflective of her interests and likes. Although it now serves as a place for the study of beasts and kin, a peek of her collection still remains. It continues to expand.Creativity: Anatomical and flora sketching. From idle sketching of anatomy, animals and flowers to more scientific endeavors and notes for human and beast anatomy-- to make note of anatomical differences and symptoms. Helena also maintains her own form of Materia medica. While one may not consider it much of a hobby in regards to how she tends to use it, she does enjoy sketching freely in-between work papers and notes.-- A Materia medica perhaps what began as more a habi and hobby of sketching, bloomed into the act of actively maintaining and documenting her work and finds. It is a pharmacopoeia that depicts various medicinal plants and the medicines that can be made/obtained from them. In her case, this also includes side notes of the odd things she has happened upon in her own pursuits. What she does she does for her own reference.Leech care and rearing: Although in recent times she never uses them for treatment and bleedings for a number of reasons after the loss of many of her specimens. What was once part of the job has become a modest hobby.

• to be added later - Clinic
• to be added later - Arsenal
• to be added later
• to be added later

*   —Die Hexenbiest || V. Beast Witch,

To be written

*   —Wiedergänger || V. Blood Saint,

To be written

*   *Rev·e·nant

To be written